Eh, eventually, you just settle on the somehow-weirdly-sexy deer filter instead

Eh, eventually, you just settle on the somehow-weirdly-sexy deer filter instead

Always gotta give that 1 minute of waiting to open a snapchat so they don’t think you were waiting for them to snap you ????????????

All other times, it’s just a path toward slow destruction as you see it took them three hours to look. Naturally, you have to wait four hours before looking at theirs.

There are few betrayals more painful than getting a selfie you thought was just for you, analyzing how much they must like you to send you such a personal pic, and then seeing it in their public story. This is why you have trust issues.

You just can’t risk them noticing that you open every single one, including all 18 they took while eating fries at McDonald’s. It’s a very real temptation, for sure, but for the sake of being smooth, be selective (and hope you don’t miss out on a shirtless gym Snap.)

You’ve opened their Snaps way too many times while simultaneously talking to your friends, which is why this is now an alone-in-your-room-with-all-the-lights-off ritual.

If you can’t keep up a streak, how will you ever keep up a relationship?

You had to turn on five different lamps and do a 360-degree spin for that voluminous-hair, dewy-skin, sneaky-hint-of-cleave selfie that is so effortless. You even dry shampooed, all for the mere potential of your crush being struck by your beauty in just one to 10 seconds. Though, let’s be real, you save all of these because you’re not putting all that work in for nothing.

You are feeling yourself, and you want them to know you’re feeling yourself, but not in a way that’s blatantly flirty or risks looking like you actually tried, so you have to get creative. So you’ll opt for a form-fitting dress/dog face filter combo, just to throw them off.

Let’s not pretend this filter wasn’t invented for bad face days. When your crush asks for a selfie back and your pores are currently tiny grease volcanoes, anime eyes and angelically glowing skin are here for you. Until you’re asked for another selfie, and you wonder if you can get away with this same filter forever – maybe by the time you get married, Snapchat will make this an IRL mask to wear on the big day?

Open receipts are only amazing when you know your crush played your video immediately and thus can confirm that they’re definitely in love with you

You want to Snap your crush all the time, except you doubt 18 videos of you watching The Bachelor will woo your intended. But the moment you’re on a scenic hiking trip or out with seven-plus friends, that phone is out and painstakingly documenting every damn moment of your thrilling life that they 1,000 percent need to be a part of.

This is especially hard when you refuse to send a black screen with the words “streaks” just for the sake of fulfilling your one-Snap-a-day quota. No, this will be earned by genuine attempts at compelling Snaps that’ll make you have the highest streak number out of all their friends.

Nothing says, “Wow, you sure do Snap a lot,” like being their literal top friend. There’s no other reason for this algorithm to exist other than to gently nudge people into just hooking up already.

yesterday i sent a snapchat with 4 large pizzas in my car and had 12 girls asking to hang out.

It’s a long shot – OK, this literally has never happened in the entire time you’ve been Snapping. But some naive part of you still hopes they’ll see that you’re at the bar right now, and therefore they’ll suddenly really want a drink. An even bigger stretch: You Snapping “plans got cancelled, someone chill with me :(“ and that being enough for your crush to finally text you. *Sigh.* A girl can dream (and Snap), right?

Honestly, if they only ever open your direct Snaps and never send a lil something back, they are clearly monsters. Everyone knows you’re not supposed to just leave people on open! And you don’t need that kind of stress in your life.